They didn't actually give us sides, but gave us a storyline: girl and boy wait for parents to go to sleep, boy and girl meet up and drive away into the night to dry hump. Not the most original piece on earth, but it's Levi's, who gives a fuck.
Now...on the audition post, it never actually said anything about the pay or pay scale, or when it would be shooting/airing etc. Which I thought was kinda...weird. So I decided to investigate.
I looked the one guy listed in the post up...and it looked like he barely had done anything. Like, I think he had one for producing something like a student film or whatever...and then I find him on youtube.
On another "Levi's commercial".
Apparently, if you're casting a video you're most likely using solely for your reel, but shooting it as if it could be a commercial using Levi's products...then you can say you're looking for a girl for a Levi's commercial.
Which I think is a little fucked up.
I almost bought a pair of Levi's for you, deceptive CAZT-using poster.
But I go anyways. Whatever. It's easy. And it's the only thing I had to do that day. Let's just do this shit.
So I get there...and they have actual sides now. Hooray. Not super hard: I look through it really quick.
And they call my name...to also go in with a guy who's auditioning for the dude part. Cool, alright.
I get in there...and it's all like, 30 year old men. All slightly overweight, and sad looking. Not BECAUSE they were all slightly overweight, but as, like, an added accessory.
Which. I thought was really weird, considering this commercial is all about teen love. I think it kinda ventured into creepytown, actually. And stayed there.
So I try to be nice...obviously. Because I usually come into my auditions with a death glare and pessimism, and overall hatred of the world around me...but yeah, I show that I'm interested in this shit.
But literally, they looked like they were all dragged in here. Actually, yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what happened. The one guy who looked mediocrely content was the one trying to make this shit, and the other guys clearly were doing this as a favor for him.
We slate, and start the scene. It's short..and kinda boring. But there's not a whoooole lot to make it more interesting, unless I decided to jump him. Which I guess is what they wanted us to do. No, seriously, I think they expected people to come in and just hump the shit out of their scene partners.
We finish...and the guy asks if we could do the scene without the scripts (because apparently papers in front of us didn't look "natural"). Well. Sure. I mean, it's not memorized because you guys JUST gave it to us, but cool.
So we do it sans paper, trying to hit at least most of the lines...and then the scene ends. Oh, wait! No it does not! Because man-friend decides to grab me around the waist and pull me into him. Oh hi nice to meet you. And then they call cut.
It was pretty fuckin' awkward. Because the pull in was so not expected and out of place, I was like...cool.
And then the whole sexual scenarios in film vs theater came up in my mind again. I didn't have a problem with shit like that in Romeo and Juliet, and I never really had a problem with it in scenes...because there was a fucking PURPOSE to it. For some reason, film shit likes to just slap it in there, and I'm not really down for that. I've already kinda talked about it, so I'll stop, but I don't know. Shit's weird in LA.
Anyway, so I figured I wasn't going to get this one...ooooh noz, it's cool.
But then! I got the feedback for it. That's right, CAZT gives you your audition video and feedback from the casting director/director/whoever has to try to remember everyone's audition and give some notes.
Usually they're actually pretty helpful...I did get a feud on one of my feedbacks from a casting director who thought I should've been cast as something hands down, and a director who tried to defend himself. That was fucking weird. But for the most part, it's cool, and usually positive with speckles of advice. Or if they have less people auditioning, they actually give really detailed feedback which I most definitely appreciate.
However, I'm guessing someone (probably one of the sadest looking men in the room) had to do everyone's feedback for this "commercial" audition...and they probably were like, "You know what...fuck this, I'm going to create the perfect ambiguous feedback that will be perfect for EVERYONE."
And that's what they did.
WHAT.
Someone took all the audition and acting notes they got from their acting class and smushed them all into one ambiguous feedback comment for everyone, even if it made no fucking sense. High five for laziness.
Oh. And now the Luck part of this blog post.
So I woke up Tuesday, started to eat breakfast and watch whatever I Tivoed from yesterday...and a message magically appeared in my facebook inbox.
I open it, and it's from a friend from college I hadn't talked to in a while, who apparently now works at a Casting agency...
...and he has a part he wants to cast me in in Luck.
For those of you who don't have a boyfriend who's obsessed with horse movies, it's an HBO tv series about horse racing with Dustin Hoffman and a lot of other equally cool peeps.
And I freak out. WHAT THE SHIT YES.
So I call him, and he says that the role would be as an auction girl...and I have to have had experience with horses. PROFICIENT experience with horses.
Um.
I rode horses a few times...when I was like 5? I had them at my birthday party once.
He repeats that I need to be proficient...fuck.
And after a few back and forths of "eh.."s and "well..."s, he straight up asks me "yes or no?"
Yes. Horses are cool. Sign me up.
He books me for it...the next morning in Pomona. I hang up...and I freak the fuck out.
WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST DO.
I call Sam, who tells me to calm the fuck down (as per usj.)
And then I'm like...wait. I mean, I can walk a horse and shit...oh fuck. Do I have to ride it?
I quickly look up horse auctions on my trusty friend, google. And every single "auction" video had girls/guys RIDING the horses in the ring for people to see how the horses ride...
...oh shit.
Simultaneously, I had also agreed to help with a film that an actress had dropped out of at the last minute. So any quick horse riding lesson was out of the question.
I go to the film shoot, with this REELING through my mind. Fuck. What if they need me to do something special that only a PROFICIENT horse rider could possibly know?
So I use my friend google again. And I dig every single fucking thing I could ever need to know about horse back riding.
*Approach the horse from the front and side, never from the back.
*Always mount the horse from the left side.
*Sit on the horse straight, but don't let your legs from the knee down touch the horse.
Etc.
And I memorize the shit out of it.
As I do this, I send my casting friend a facebook message back...
Because I googled horseback riding, and trotting and cantering are two diiferent 'modes' of horseback riding.
So during this other film shoot, I'm asking questions about horseback riding. The whole day. And I'm still kinda freaking out, but a little more comfy with the idea.
The shoot ends, and it's around 7 when I get into my car and ride home. I'm supposed to call this number at 9 for information about wardrobe/call time etc.
But I also find out I got a callback/second audition for this part I really love. So now I have two fucking awesome things happening at the same time. And I freak out a lil' bit because they may overlap and I might miss this callback.
I get a facebook message back, and after spending the whole day studying horse back riding, flipping my shit, and trying to get everything down, turns out...
We're only walking the horses.
Not riding. Walking.
We are walking the horses.
So I spent the whole freaking day going crazy over , and I finally find out all the "mount the horse from the left side" shit is absolutely unnecessary.
30 points from Hufflepuff.
I'm now psyching myself out for the big day I got, and it's 9:15 so I call the number...
The shoot is cancelled until next week.
Oh. Well. That works too.
So I'm a little disappointed...but actually everything's kinda working out! I get to be on Luck and go to this callback!
I go to the callback the next day (and see Sugar from Glee. Hey, Sugar, sup.) and get home...and I have an e-mail in my inbox from someone who knew about the Luck gig...with the title "Luck" in it.
And we all know where this ends.
Luck got fucking cancelled.
The show got cancelled for having three horses die on set.
Which means there wasn't going to be a next week horse auctioner gig where I act sort of near Dustin Hoffman.
....boo.
So that one didn't work out. Which is kinda sad. But whatevz, gotta roll with the punches. Hopefully this means something good will happen to balance shit out.
Insert "luck" pun here.
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