It's All Greek to Me.

So I'm a huge Greek mythology nerd. Loved the class at UCSB. Named all my pokemon after Greek mythology characters (double nerdom).

So as I was looking at gigs to submit myself to on Actor's Access,  I find this:

Alright...so the description was kind of over the top. 

I always feel weird when the description of the attractiveness of the part is a main chunk of the character description. But I kind of ignored it. It's for a Greek Goddess, that's all I need.

I submitted myself, and later that day, got a Cmail about auditioning! Yessss.

Part of me was like...they're probably not going to pick me. But the message said that they had only invited a handful of people to audition, so I felt like I couldn't just not show up. And it was improv. Hopefully not sexual improv (see French reality show audition). But I didn't really have to prepare anything.

I get to the audition, and there's about a dozen people sitting in this little area. Apparently they had only made a limited amount of scripts for everyone, but I guess there was just one line for the girls anyway, so I wasn't worried.

I finally get handed a copy, and there's only one line from Aphrodite, so I'm guessing we're all reading it for our auditions. The description says she's blonde...but I mean, there were allllll kinds of girls at this casting, so I figure it didn't really matter anymore.

The audition's starting to run late, and a lot of girls were starting to get testy. So they just decided to bring in girls, 2 or 3 at a time. 

They call my name, along with  another girl, and we walk in. 

There's about 8 people with clipboards and a video camera, but everyone's really friendly.

What I thought was going to be saying the one line in the script, turns into a short improv where we pretend we're admirers of this Greek God at a party, and we go up and flirt with him. 

Flirting. Again? At least it's in English.

The other girl was clearly not comfortable with pretending someone was in a chair, and immediately was like, "You first."

Aight.

So I kind of did a more comedic approach to the whole flirting bit, since the whole script was pretty light and funny. I step back and let the other girl do her thang.

And it's kinda like she's embarrassed that she's talking to an invisible person. Clearly not really down for pretending to talk to someone.

This is an acting gig, right?

So we get dismissed, and the other girl goes in for an ill-timed handshake and we're out.

I go home, and I realize that the gig would be for E3, the game convention in LA. Sweetness.

Later that night I get a phone call: I was put on "available", along with apparently 2 other girls. She asked me if I had any conflicts, and I realize my overnight shoot is that day: 7 pm to 7 am. Fuck. If it's a night shoot, I'm not getting picked.

So I wait. And wait. She had told me she'd know by around 8 at night, and it's now 8:30.

I get kinda bummed: goodbye greek costume.

The next morning, though, I get a phone call from the casting director..AND I GOT IT! YESSS VICTORYYYY.

 She seems really happy for me, that everyone really liked me, and promises the shoot's going to be super fun and chill. 

I get an e-mail later that day with the details:

Alright. So I'll do my hair and make-up, whatever, all good. And I have $2 sandals, so that's cool. Let's do this.

So that morning, I curl my hair, do the same make up I did for auditions, but not too elaborate in case the make up artist wants to do something.

I get to set, and one of the producers greets me, brings me to the breakfast table, and then to the green room...

And there's like 3 other girls. Including the one girl that had auditioned with me who hated invisible things. Who I later found was trying to pitch/film a reality show...about herself. 

Alright. Well. That's cool, maybe there are other parts they're using them for or something.

I sit down with everyone, and we all slowly realize...none of us really know what's going on. There's one guy there, who has a script and knows for sure he's playing Poseidon. 

And now everyone's confused. 

None of us know what we're doing. 

The producer comes in and tells me and Sundai, who I later found out was on America's Next Top Model for the short girls season, to change into similar looking short white dresses. 

I ask her if she knows what we're doing.

"No, I'm just the producer, sorry."

Oh. Uh. Okay.

So we change and wait. 

And after a while, they come back to get us. We go into this green-screened room with white pillars, and a gold kiddy pool in the middle for Poseidon. 

They hand us bubble-gum, because I guess they want us chewing gum and blowing some bubbles. 

So I have these two pieces of gum in my mouth, and it's not super sexy...and suddenly it's photoshoot time!

Wait, what the fuck?

So I'm against this pilar, with two large pieces of gum in my mouth, trying to work the sexy chipmunk look. It's not totally working. 

Oh, and I'm posing with an America's Next Top Model contestant. A tiny Tyra in my mind is telling me to work it and smize. 

And this acting job suddenly turns into a modeling job.

So after a few shots, Poseidon comes in and it's time to actually film shit. The guy playing him is clearly kinda bro-tastic, but a nice dude. I chose the word 'dude' on purpose.

We basically don't really do a whole lot, except be annoyed that we're still here and we're kinda over this whole Poseidon thing. Cool.

So the script is basically Poseidon saying about 5 or 6 lines, with a surfer-dude kind of attitude. They're pretty easy, no weird transitions or words or anything.

First take starts...and he messes up half-way. 

Whatever, shit happens, it's the first take.

But then it happened again...and again...and twenty more times. Then thirty more times.

Half of me felt bad for the dude, and the other half wanted to Freaky Friday this shit and just do it for him, since at this point I knew all the lines. I mean, the director was even giving him a thought process to remember his lines. "Okay, God's aren't just gamers...and what game did they make? The Olympics..."

Finally, they just had us leave while he worked his shit out in close-ups. 

So we're out there...and the girl who's actually playing Aphrodite shows up. Oh, hey part we all thought we were playing.

But the weirdest part of this shoot...was the make-up artist/hair stylist.

Because she barely did any of either of those things.

Even with Aphrodite, I turned around and the actress is curling her own hair while the woman's just staring at her.

And finally, when we go back in the room to resume our gum-chewing and eye-rolling, the make up artist gets called in to touch us up. Aka throwing oil-blotting paper on us.

She comes up to me, takes four blotting papers, and squishes them on my face...looks at them...and then shows me the oil she blotted going, "WOAH LOOK AT ALL THAT!"

Thanks, sort-of-make-up lady. 

We did close ups of me and Sundai, and I get a little bit where I blow a bubble, pop it, he turns around, and I give him a "WHAT" face. Along with some reaction shots from both of us. 

At the end, after a full group shot of everyone, I was released way earlier than originally expected. Yay sleep before an overnight shoot.

If anything, I got to wear my Greek Goddess costume.

And if I squinted, it was like I was in a low-budget episode of America's Next Top Model for five hours.